I have had quite a discouraging week with my social media. I have released about four books since my semester at university ended all of which I placed links up for on all my socials. On tik Tok, Instagram, and threads I have an audience combined sitting at 3000 followers. So, I'm posting link after link of my books, and I got a dm from somebody telling me that they basically tried to buy one of my books and the link didn't work. So, I go through and none of my link's work. Now I have been posting them for months, and this meant one of two things to me. One people either have been clicking them and since the links didn't work, they just moved on... or two nobody has been clicking them at all. Now I have been trying to build connections like nobody's business, and I never see a page read in kenp. I have people who occasionally message me saying that they bought my book and that they read it but it never shows in the sales meaning they just lied... ( Maybe the system glitched but I wait a week or so after to see if they meant it and it never shows)
Now I am not trying to scream woe is me, this post feels rather pathetic but I'm saying since I have gotten out of school, and since I have been struggling to find a job... I have probably spent a good near 14 or 15 hours a day on a laptop. Promoting, editing, creating covers, writing, posting taking footage for videos and more... All so I can grow an audience. Now I have grown my accounts, but they do not engage with my work outside of the app. I struggle with bipolar disorder which currently I am not on any medicine and haven't been on medicine for years because it messes my head up even more, but I am saying this for two reasons, I was manic writing all that time. Manic posting. Manic editing and manic socializing and I crashed yesterday and two, I have never been able to build connections... at least strong ones and I do not fully blame being bipolar on that, but I do think it has a big part in something... That and because I'm shy and socially awkward and hate showing my face online but anyways, I know this is my fault.
I have a lot going on in general and I don't want my accounts to go dark, but I think I need to take a break. This is getting to my head, and I can't even find it in my heart to listen to my own moto...
"Even If nobody reads it, write it down anyways."
That being said, I like coming on here to write things... it's a nice corner on the internet that nobody knows about. A nice way to document my journey as a being and a writer so I think I will keep writing on here.
Okay this post has gotten super long.
-Jupiter M. Moon
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